


you flower, you feast

by zadonis



Series: the brotherhood of yuta's traveling handcuffs [5]
Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Fluff, Fluff and Angst, M/M, i really like jaeyong and y'all seemed to like part 2 of this series a lot, is this angst? i'm not even sure, so here's more fluffy jaeyong
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-26
Updated: 2018-03-26
Packaged: 2019-04-08 14:07:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,414
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14107029
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zadonis/pseuds/zadonis
Summary: jaehyun and taeyong finally go on their first official date





	you flower, you feast

**Author's Note:**

> once again, the title is from a harry styles song. it follows the line "this thing howls upon me like a beast" which seems fitting since that was the start of this series, and this one is the end :( thank you for reading either just the jaeyong stuff or all of it! all of the feedback i've gotten from these have been amazing! when I started out I was only going to write the doten one but then the support kept coming, so I kept writing! thank you thank you thank you for the kudos and comments :)

On a sleepy Sunday morning, Jaehyun awoke alone in bed. Taeyong’s side of the bed was empty, sheets pulled up and straightened. Jaehyun was sure he’d have made the whole bed if Jaehyun hadn’t still been sleeping. He wasn’t sure where his boyfriend had gone, and judging by the silence in the dorm, almost everyone else was probably gone as well.

He soon pulled on a hoodie and went in search of his boyfriend.

All he found was Ten.

The older boy sat at the kitchen table wrapped in clothes that were too large to belong to him. He wore glasses too, and he pushed them higher on his nose as he looked up at Jaehyun’s entrance.

Jaehyun nodded at him, and asked, “Where is everyone?”

“Some of the kids are still sleeping, I think. Chinese members had a meeting. I’m not sure about the rest.” Ten answered, ticking the numbers off on his fingers, but giving up when he found that the he’d run out of fingers.

Jaehyun pulled a carton of orange juice out of the refrigerator, and didn’t bother finding a glass. Ten wrinkled his nose, watching Jaehyun drink out of the carton, but he didn’t try to stop him. When he was done, Jaehyun screwed the cap back on and put it away, then he came to sit down across the table from Ten.

Jaehyun asked, “What are you doing?”

“Drawing.” Ten tapped a pencil against the page of his sketchbook. Jaehyun hadn’t seen Ten drawing for a while, so he leaned forward, hoping to get a look at the drawings. Ten jerked the sketchbook out of sight. “It’s not done yet.”

“Suit yourself.” Jaehyun folded his arms across his chest. He wondered where Taeyong had gone. It wasn’t like him to just disappear, but there was also the possibility that Jaehyun had been told, but that he’d been too asleep to really listen. He sighed.

Ten narrowed his eyes. “Are you going to keep doing that?”

“Doing what?”

Ten imitated his sigh.

“It’s better than those noises I hear you making through the wall at night,” Jaehyun retorted. Ten’s mouth popped open, and whether it was in shock or ready to respond, Jaehyun didn’t find out.

At that moment, Johnny came shuffling and yawning into the room, sporting a decently sized purplish-red stain on the curve of his shoulder. He froze when he saw them at the table. Slowly his hand lifted to curl over the mark, but they’d both already seen it. Johnny cleared his throat, and said, “I though everyone went to the park. Yuta said everyone was going.”

“The park?” Jaehyun watched Johnny who was trying to figure out a way to move that wasn’t going to reveal the presence of more hickeys on his back. He was failing. Jaehyun spotted the additional marks; he didn’t even want to know anything about Johnny and Yuta’s sex life, and just by seeing the marks, that was too much.

“Yeah, he said something about there being a festival, maybe? I don’t know. I was trying to sleep when he was telling me, but he said everyone was going.” Johnny shrugged.

Jaehyun turned to Ten, “And you didn’t know this?”

“Doyoungie asked if I wanted to go to the park, he didn’t say that other people were going too.”

Johnny disappeared from the room, but returned a few moments later wearing a shirt. Jaehyun watched Ten focus on his drawing, but anytime he tried to edge closer to catch even just a glimpse of it, Ten glared and raised a hand as if to threaten a slap. Johnny sat down with them and managed to distract them with his plans for their upcoming break, when he’d be flying home to Chicago for the first time in a while, and he was planning on taking Yuta with him, although his family didn’t know it yet.

Jaehyun checked his phone several times, looking for a text from Taeyong, but nothing ever came up, and as the minutes ticked by, he started to feel neglected. It’s not that he had to be by Taeyong’s side all the time; he wasn’t a super clingy boyfriend, but Jaehyun did like waking up beside Taeyong and kissing him while dreams were still softening everything around them. That morning he’d been deprived of it, and that was unforgiveable.

When the door into the dorm opened some time later, Doyoung was the first to enter. He made a beeline out of the room, his cheeks a furious shade of pink. Ten frowned and hurried to follow.

Jaehyun looked back at the door just in time to see a hysterically laughing Taeyong curled around a giggling Jungwoo. Yuta and Mark walked in behind them, smiling, but nowhere near as amused as Jaehyun’s boyfriend was.

“What’s going on?” Johnny asked. Yuta came over to his side. “Taeyong teased Doyoung the whole way home about him needing to use the toilet. Things got mildly out of hand. Now they’re like this and he’s embarrassed because everyone we passed probably heard.”

Jaehyun glanced at Taeyong and caught his eye. A smile twitched on his lips, and that was enough to send Taeyong into peals of laughter again. His cheeks puffed slightly as he attempted to hold his joy in. Jaehyun felt his heart swelling with warmth at the sight before him: Taeyong wrapped up in a baggy sweatshirt, the hood tugged up, and his hands tucked into the front pocket. He looked so small and cute, and Jaehyun just wanted to wrap him up, pull him onto his lap, and never let him go again.

He let his own chuckle spill out, magnetically drawn to Taeyong’s mirth.

Taeyong abandoned Jungwoo’s side in favor of stepping up behind Jaehyun. His fingers combed through the back of Jaehyun’s hair, and Jaehyun leaned into the touch.

“I want to go to the park, too, hyung,” He pouted.

Taeyong pressed a kiss to Jaehyun’s cheek. “We can go later. Make it a date.”

Jaehyun’s stomach swooped.

Although he’d been calling Taeyong his boyfriend for weeks, they had yet to go on an official date. Dinners in the living room which got interrupted by other members didn’t count as dates, and neither did candlelit romantic bedroom times, as much as Taeyong tried to convince Jaehyun. He’d been asking for a real date for weeks, and now it seemed Taeyong was finally taking him out.

“Yeah,” Jaehyun agreed, reaching back to pull his boyfriend around him. Taeyong settled into place on Jaehyun’s lap, and Jaehyun wrapped his arms around Taeyong’s waist and fit his chin over Taeyong’s shoulder. “I’d like that.”

“I’d like for you to stop that.”

Jaehyun had totally forgotten their audience, particularly Johnny who was still sitting at the table, lip curled at the sight of their cuteness. Jaehyun laughed into Taeyong’s shoulder.

\- - -

The evening was thick around them. Sunset painted the sky in purples and oranges, and in the shrinking twilight, Jaehyun and Taeyong arrived at the park. It wasn’t quite as nice as going in the middle of the day, but there was something more romantic, Jaehyun thought, about strolling along together at night. Taeyong was even clutching his hand and leaning into his side, talking and laughing.

Taeyong had promised him a picnic. Their walk led them toward a convenience store where Jaehyun was planning to buy ramen and chips and ice cream and whatever else he could convince Taeyong to buy. They were nearly there when something caught Jaehyun’s attention.

A small cluster of girls stood nearby, giggling and dancing.

Jaehyun recognized the moves, they were the same ones he’d been performing for months. He nudged Taeyong, “Babe, look.”

Jaehyun expected Taeyong’s reaction to be similar to Jaehyun’s: amusement, joy, laughter. What he didn’t expect was for Taeyong’s eyes to go startled and wide, and to be suddenly jerked along the path away from the girls. Jaehyun frowned, but followed easily, allowing Taeyong to lead him toward the convenience store. He tugged Taeyong to a stop once the girls’ laughter faded into the twilight.

Jaehyun pulled his mask down from over his mouth. “Hey, what’s wrong?”

“I’m sorry,” Taeyong whispered. His fingers flexed around Jaehyun’s. “I thought we’d be safe from being noticed tonight.”

“Hyung, it’s fine. We’re fine.” Jaehyun tugged at the front of Taeyong’s cap, lowering it more over his eyes. “You’ve got a hat, I’ve got a mask. They didn’t see us, and even if they did, they can’t know it’s us.”

Still, Taeyong looked around nervously, biting his lips, his large brown eyes seemed even wider. Sometimes Jaehyun forgot that Taeyong wasn’t as large as his personality and ego made him seem. He was shy and soft, wary and protective. Jaehyun knew Taeyong could easily get stuck in his mind, processing everything that could go wrong and trying to find a way around it.

As his boyfriend, Jaehyun was sure it was his responsibility to get Taeyong out of his mind and make sure that they still had fun.

“Hey,” he squeezed Taeyong’s hand and butted his forehead against the side of Taeyong’s head. “We can still have fun, no matter what. Right?”

Taeyong sighed and nodded. Jaehyun pulled back and felt Taeyong’s eyes on him, searching, so he pulled out his brightest most reassuring smile, just visible over the top of his tugged-down mask.

“I’m hungry, and you promised me a picnic.” He cupped Taeyong’s cheek with his free hand. “We’re fine, babe. Let’s get food. Let’s be a couple.” He swung their hands, and at last, Taeyong’s smile appeared again.

They loaded their arms with food and drinks in the store, then wandered into the park until they found a bench to sit on together and enjoy their picnic. They spread the food out between them, watching steam rise from the bowls of ramen, tossing chips at each other playfully.

Time passed strangely, slow and fast and entirely nonexistent. It was just the two of them, just their laughter and the occasional brush of their hands over the food.

Jaehyun didn’t want it to end. He wanted to remain forever in their undisturbed bubble, but he knew it couldn’t last. Nothing ever does.

“I really want to kiss you,” Taeyong sighed over the distance between them. He clutched his drink tightly in his hands, and followed Jaehyun’s hand with his eyes as Jaehyun brought his chopsticks to his mouth, chewing another mouthful of ramen. “I hate that I can’t kiss you right now.”

Jaehyun glanced around. There weren’t many people nearby. No one really seemed to be paying them any attention. Their bench was even tucked back off the path, only lit by the very edge of a streetlamp ring of light. He turned back to Taeyong who was still staring at him, wide eyes full of desire. Jaehyun felt a stirring in his belly. He wanted Taeyong to kiss him too.

“You could,” He scooted a bit closer. “No one’s watching us. If they are, then they’re about to get a show.” Jaehyun tilted his head toward Taeyong, teasing, hoping. He hadn’t wanted to be kissed so badly since the moments before their first kiss.

Taeyong whined quietly under his breath. “But if someone recognizes us—“

Jaehyun groaned and pulled back.

“So what if they recognize us?” He couldn’t keep the irritation out of his voice. “Why’d you even bring me out on a date if you’re going to be this way?” He stabbed at his food. His appetite had suddenly gone. “I know that a lot of people still think this,” He gestured between them, “Is wrong, but people are changing, Taeyong-ie. I thought you were proud of what we have, but I guess if you’re ashamed to be seen with me in public then. . . “

He threw his hands out and stood up.

He paced a few feet away and then turned. Taeyong still sat there, clutching his drink, looking all wide-eyed and cute. But Jaehyun wouldn’t let his cuteness distract him from this. He just wanted a date with Taeyong. A real date, like he’d been on with girls back before. He wanted to sit at a table in a restaurant with him, hold his hand, and laugh and smile at his jokes while making moon-eyes at him. He wanted a romance like in the movies, and he hated that just because some people didn’t think that two men should love each other Jaehyun had to suffer.

“Jae!” Taeyong called out as Jaehyun took off.

He didn’t slow down.

This was stupid, thinking that he could have something like this. Something real and normal. And Taeyong wasn’t even meeting him halfway, really.

Jaehyun kept walking, getting faster and faster until he was running.

\- - -

Taeyong didn’t come to bed that night, and Jaehyun laid awake for hours, turning his phone over and over in his hands. He needed to know if Taeyong had come home, but he wasn’t going to leave their bedroom, and he wasn’t sure if texting him was the right move either. So he did nothing except run the thoughts over and over again in his mind until they looped back around.

He heard Doyoung and Ten speaking in low voices through the wall, and the kids in the room on the other side were being noisy too.

Jaehyun wrapped his arms around Taeyong’s pillow and buried his face in it, curled into it, and wished that it did more than just smell like his boyfriend. He wanted it to be flesh and bone Taeyong.

But that side of the bed remained empty.

He wasn’t sure when or how he fell asleep, but when he woke the next morning, the bed was still empty. Only faint sunlight occupied the sheets. Jaehyun got up.

Chenle and Renjun were in the kitchen fighting over what appeared to be the last of a food they both wanted. Jaehyun stepped between them, inadvertently giving Chenle the opportunity to shove the food whole into his mouth. Renjun’s cries of despair alerted Jaehyun that he’d made a mistake, but it was early and he was still upset about the previous evening’s events enough that he didn’t care about anything much.

He grabbed the orange juice carton out of the fridge and took a swig, turning to look around the room and over into the adjoining living room area.

A clump of blankets barely stirred on one of the sofas, and when a foot popped out the bottom, Jaehyun felt his heart do a strange drop in his chest. Taeyong had spent the night on the couch, and he was still there. Jaehyun didn’t want to think of how cold he’d probably gotten out here. He couldn’t escape the thoughts that whispered questions of whether Taeyong had slept out there because he was just as mad at Jaehyun or because he thought Jaehyun was just that mad at him.

“You need to stop doing that.” Johnny walked into the kitchen and slapped the bottom of the orange juice carton, causing Jaehyun to 1) almost choke on a mouthful of juice, and 2) spill the rest of it down the front of him.

“Hyung!” He whined, quickly dropping the now empty carton on the counter beside him as he reached for anything to mop up his chest with. “Now look what you did!”

Johnny shrugged, and continued to do his own thing as Jaehyun huffed over spilled orange juice.

By the time he looked up again, grimacing at the sticky feel on his skin, the pile of blankets that was Taeyong had vanished.

They had a schedule to get to but not until later in the day, so Jaehyun was surprised as he walked back to their room with how many of the members were already awake and moving. It wasn’t terribly early, but it was still earlier than most of them would usually be awake. The kids in the room next door were awake—Renjun was complaining to one of the other boys about Chenle’s antics in the kitchen. Doyoung and Ten were still locked quietly away behind their bedroom door.

When Jaehyun stepped inside his and Taeyong’s room, he found Taeyong was already in there, leaning over the desk to plug his phone into the wall. He glanced up when Jaehyun walked in, but immediately looked away.

“You didn’t have to sleep out there,” Jaehyun said. He took a step toward Taeyong, but then hesitated. Taeyong didn’t even acknowledge having heard Jaehyun; he was acting so cold toward him that Jaehyun wasn’t sure if he could touch Taeyong or if that would set off some even bigger argument. He remained silent as Taeyong straightened up and moved over to the closet, pulling out clothes, and snagging his towel from where he’d left it to dry the day before. Jaehyun grabbed his own towel from the back of the door.

Taeyong turned to him at last. His eyes were sharp, softened only slightly by the sleepless shadows below. It was strange to see his mouth in a perfectly noncommittal set line; Jaehyun couldn’t think of the last time they’d looked at each other without even the slightest turn of their lips toward a smile.

“Tae, I—“ Jaehyun reached forward to touch Taeyong’s cheek or his hand or any part of him at all.

Taeyong shouldered him out of the way. Jaehyun stepped back, his stomach went cold as he watched his boyfriend walk away without a single word. The door to the bathroom down the hall clicked shut. So that answered that question. Taeyong was definitely mad at him.

Someone suddenly stepped in the way, obstructing Jaehyun’s view of the bathroom door. Jaemin. The younger boy glanced curiously toward the door then back to Jaehyun. He raised his eyebrows.

“Are you fighting?” Jaemin asked, leaning against the doorway with his toothbrush hanging out of his mouth. “I didn’t think Taeyong hyung could be mad at you anymore.”

Jaehyun rolled his eyes and pushed his hand against the side of Jaemin’s head, shifting him out of the way. He stepped around him. “Don’t be ridiculous, Nana.”

“He slept on the couch last night.” Jaemin called out after him. “No more cuffs, and now you two start to argue?”

Jaehyun ignored him and kept walking.

He needed a shower, not only to wash off the grossness of the orange juice, but to wallow in all of his thoughts like some clichéd moment in a movie.

\- - -

Things didn’t improve between them as the day moved on. Nor the next day or the next. Taeyong spent his nights on the sofa, which left Jaehyun lonely and cold in his bed, aching to mend the crack in their relationship, but unsure how to do it.

The iciness coming off of Taeyong remained just as cold and unthawed, lasting throughout their schedules in the daytime and into the long hours of the night.

After four days of this strange distance, Jaehyun was more distracted than ever during NCT’s Night Night, although he tried not to be. He only missed his cue a few times and Johnny quickly nudged him each time. Jaehyun kept thinking of his phone sitting silent and still in his pocket. Usually Taeyong would text him during the show, either commenting on whatever was happening if he was listening, or just texting him about anything ranging from random thoughts to the more raunchy side of things.

That night, as for the last few nights, there was nothing.

Jaehyun’s insides felt heavy, tight and painful.

He wasn’t sure why Taeyong was angry with him. It was Jaehyun who had the right to be angry. He was the one who just wanted a boyfriend who wasn’t afraid to show that he loved him, and Taeyong had barely touched him on their date.

When the show ended and they were climbing into the car to take them back to the dorm, Johnny paused, turning to Jaehyun. “Are you alright? You’re not sick, are you?” His hand reached for Jaehyun’s forehead, a motherly move that Jaehyun knocked away with his own hand.

“I’m fine, hyung. Just tired.”

“You’re not still mad about the orange juice the other morning, are you?” Johnny asked. His lips curved into a smile. “Because we’ve all told you multiple times not to drink out of the carton. It was only a matter of time before someone did that to you.”

Jaehyun rolled his eyes. He knew he’d been a bit off even in his relationships with the other guys, but he hadn’t realized that he was being that way with Johnny. “It’s not that. I’m fine.”

“Sure,” Johnny chuckled. “No one ever means that.”

But he dropped the subject and they fell into near silence. It was a few minutes before Jaehyun realized that they weren’t actually heading straight back to the dorm.

“Where are we going?” He asked the driver.

“Taeyong was at the practice studio,” Johnny answered. “We’re picking him up.”

Jaehyun leaned back and folded his arms over his chest. “Oh.”

Shortly after, they arrived and Johnny opened the door so that Taeyong, who was already waiting outside, could climb in. He barely glanced at Jaehyun and climbed right into the back. Johnny frowned and looked between them, obviously able to feel the strange energy coming off of them. He didn’t say anything as they finally started back to the dorm, but as the odd silence continued with neither of them speaking or looking or acknowledging the other’s presence, Johnny cleared his throat.

“So, uh, did your date the other night not go well, or what?”

Jaehyun was surprised at the straight-to-the-point question. Taeyong made a noise of similar surprise from behind him.

“I’ll take that as a no, it didn’t go well.” Johnny shifted in his seat. “Because you’ve barely spoken to each other all day. And everyone’s noticed that you’re sleeping on the couch, Taeyong. The kids don’t like it when mommy and daddy are fighting. What happened?”

“Do you really care?” Taeyong mumbled.

To Jaehyun’s continuing surprise, Johnny shrugged. “Normally, no, I wouldn’t. But I’m bored until we get back to the dorm, and this seems like it could be at least a little entertaining.”

For the first time in days, Jaehyun caught Taeyong’s eye. They quickly glanced away from each other, but not before Jaehyun could see the weakness in Taeyong’s eyes, the defeat.

Jaehyun opened his mouth, but Taeyong beat him to it.

“We went to the park last night, and when I didn’t kiss him, Jaehyun got angry and left me there alone.” Taeyong said. “I thought things were going well, and then suddenly, I was there alone in the dark, and I had to get back to the dorm completely alone. He didn’t even check to see if I’d been mugged or died or anything.”

Johnny flicked a look at Jaehyun.

“He’s forgetting to tell you the part about how he wouldn’t kiss me because he was scared someone would see. It was dark, there was hardly anyone around, and no one would have seen us. He’s just ashamed of me or something.”

Taeyong scoffed. “You didn’t even wait long enough for me to kiss you. Like, two seconds after I didn’t immediately do it, you stood up and walked away.”

That’s not how it happened, and Jaehyun was about to tell him that when Johnny held up a hand between their faces. “You’ve got issues.”

“Don’t we all?” Jaehyun turned around to face the front again. “But I have a boyfriend who doesn’t actually like me.”

The car fell silent again. Jaehyun put his earphones in and turned up music loud enough that he wouldn’t have heard anything even if it was being shouted at him. He closed his eyes and refused to open them until he felt the van slow to a stop in front of the dorm.

When the three of them walked through the door, Taeyong lingered in the entry, straightening the piles of shoes and sweeping dirt into a pile. Jaehyun headed straight for the bedroom.

After he stripped out of the day’s clothes, Jaehyun got into bed, but he sat there for a while, unsure if he should go to sleep or wait to see if Taeyong came in. He waited for half an hour, maybe longer, before finally giving up.

Jaehyun crumpled the blankets against his chest.

And then there was a knock on the door. By the time he looked over, it was already opening. Taeyong peeked inside.

“You’re awake.”

All that cold from earlier was finally gone, replaced with a timidity that seemed out of place in Taeyong.

Jaehyun nodded. Something warm like relief spread through his chest.

“Sorry,” Taeyong slipped inside and closed the door firmly behind him. He froze there, hovering with his back to the door. “I just came in for a change of clothes.” He nodded at the closet. “I’ll go right after.”

Jaehyun sighed.

That’s not what he wanted, not at all. Despite their stupid fight, Jaehyun wanted Taeyong in bed with him, just to hold him and hear him breathing, just to have him close enough that he could pretend that they hadn’t fought at all.

“Don’t.” Jaehyun sat up. “Don’t do that. You don’t have to leave.”

Taeyong turned without another word or any sign of having heard Jaehyun, and peeled his shirt over his head and kicked his pants off. Jaehyun laid back down and held his phone up, scrolling through social media. If Taeyong was going to ignore him again, then Jaehyun didn’t want to be patient and wait around for him to finish changing. He wasn’t even really looking at what he was scrolling through, but rather he sank into his mind, which was something that was happening more and more the longer this fight was drawn out. He was in the midst of suffering through the echoes of Taeyong’s voice saying “O was there alone in the dark” when he felt the bed shifting.

“Jae,” Taeyong’s voice was quiet and wary. The weight of him settled over Jaehyun, and his fingers curled around Jaehyun’s hands, pulling the phone from his grip; he tossed it aside before leaning down to place his hands on either side of Jaehyun’s head.

Jaehyun felt overwhelmed. Having been deprived of Taeyong for so long, his current state of being so close to him and being entirely encompassed by him was making his whole body warm. His scent was intoxicating. Jaehyun didn’t know where to focus his attention: Taeyong’s eyes, his lips, the line in his eyebrow? His heart ached from wanting to touch, from wanting to tangle his fingers in Taeyong’s hair and pull their mouths together.

For a few moments they looked at each other in silence, reacquainting themselves with the features they’d been unable to comfortably stare at over recent days.

Taeyong broke the silence first.

“I’m sorry.” He shifted, shrinking down against Jaehyun. He brought his forearms down to rest on Jaehyun’s chest, hips against Jaehyun’s hips. His lips hovered just a couple of inches away. “I’m sorry, Jaehyunnie. I’m not ashamed of us. I love you. I know that I love you. I need you to know that too.” Taeyong’s voice cracked and he bit his lip, closing his eyes for a moment. His fingers trembled against Jaehyun’s temples.

Jaehyun lifted his arms, curling them around Taeyong’s waist until his boyfriend was crushed against him. Taeyong whined and wiggled, but eventually gave in and dropped his head down beside Jaehyun’s.

With a soft laugh, Jaehyun turned his head to the side and kissed the side of Taeyong’s head. “I’m sorry, too. I was angry, and it was stupid of me to leave you there alone. I was just overthinking everything, I think. I love you, too, and I want us to be able to show that. I know we can’t be as open about us as I wish we could be. We chose the wrong careers if we wanted total romantic freedom, but I still think we can go on dates. We can be subtle, can’t we? Johnny hyung and Yuta hyung are mostly subtle about their relationship, even here in the dorm.”

Taeyong muttered something.

“What?”

Taeyong turned his head, and now their faces were only centimeters apart. Jaehyun blinked and instinctively pulled his head back. Taeyong repeated what he’d said before, “You deserve more than subtle romance, Jung Jaehyun.”

“I’ll be fine with it, though.” Jaehyun insisted. He didn’t like the shade of worry in Taeyong’s eyes. He could already see it weighing on him.

“I don’t want to give you _fine_. I want you to be happy, not just fine.” One of Taeyong’s hands moved to cup Jaehyun’s cheek, his thumb traced along Jaehyun’s bottom lip, his eyes following the path. “I told you I love you, and I meant it. When I think of my future, I see NCT and a successful career; I see more albums, more members, more awards, and everything that I’ve dreamed of. But more than that,” Taeyong paused for a moment, and he looked up into Jaehyun’s eyes. Jaehyun was startled by the sudden clarity there, the determination that pitched within. Taeyong continued, “More than all of my dreams—now I see you at the forefront. I want you in my future, Jaehyun, and I know this all sounds probably really cheesy, but, I want to give you every part of me, from now until forever.”

That was cheesy. Incredibly cheesy, like a line straight out of a romance film.

And Jaehyun was speechless.

It’s not that he didn’t want any of that. He did want it. He wanted it all. Jaehyun just hadn’t known that Taeyong wanted that.

Long before that hungover morning in the dorm kitchen weeks back, Jaehyun had fallen in love with Taeyong. He was sure he must’ve fallen in love when he first saw him, or maybe sometime just within those first few days when they were trainees together. Even before they were in the group together, Jaehyun hoped the friendship they’d formed would at least bind them together for as long as possible, even if they weren’t going to debut together. He’d seen Taeyong as a permanent fixture in his future, or at least, he’d hoped for it. He’d had all the daydreams, even the unlikely ones: a house, a wedding, a family, lazy mornings tangled in bed, hot nights in a cool pool. Jaehyun had wanted Taeyong and any possibility of a future with him.

And now, it was right there in front of him.

“Do you really mean it?” Jaehyun asked. His throat felt tight, and his mouth was dry.

Taeyong nodded. “I would kiss you on national television tomorrow if I thought that would keep us together.” He smiled, “But I’m fairly certain that would ruin any possibility of us getting to keep our jobs, and that might derail our future a bit.”

Jaehyun squeezed his arms around Taeyong again, enjoying the squirms of his boyfriend.

Jaehyun quickly rolled over, pinning Taeyong beneath him.

“Until a time when how we feel about each other will be acceptable to everyone else, I’m happy with whatever level of romance we can get away with. Some day, I’ll be able to do this anywhere I please.” And with that, Jaehyun dipped down and kissed Taeyong.

Taeyong hummed into the kiss, and Jaehyun shivered as Taeyong’s fingers trailed over his neck and tangled in the hair at the back of his head.

They kissed each other into the deep, violet hours of night. Jaehyun held Taeyong’s face in his hands and saw a future for them in his eyes. Taeyong traced shapes into Jaehyun’s skin until Jaehyun’s whole body tingled with swirls of heat. They eventually fell asleep curled together.

In the morning, Jaehyun wasn’t alone. Taeyong was still asleep.

His face was squished against the pillow, hair a mess all over the place, but Jaehyun still thought he looked beautiful. He brushed his fingers light over Taeyong’s cheek, and the other boy leaned subconsciously into the touch. Jaehyun kissed him.

Just a soft peck at first. Then another.

He felt Taeyong’s lips move against his, a set of fingers curled against Jaehyun’s belly, a leg shifted forward, feet cold against Jaehyun’s calves. Taeyong moaned quietly, and Jaehyun kissed him again, deeper, tasting dreams on Taeyong’s tongue. His world blossomed with a thousand happy dreams.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you thank you thank you thank you for reading! this is the end of the series unfortunately, but we had a good run, didn't we? comments and kudos are always greatly appreciated. i'm sure i'll be back writing more jaeyong, doten, dojae, and more soon in the future (just not as part of this series) thank you again!


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